Annnnnd we're back!

It has been over two years since my last post.  Ho-Ly Cow.

As one might expect, a whole bunch has happened since October 2012.


Here's an update on [them]...

[Jack] 

Jack is now in third grade and will be turning 9 next week.  While I am proud that the things that come out of his mouth are more intelligent these days, it has caused a serious lack of JACKtionary material.

[Reese]

Reese just turned 5 and will be starting kindergarten in the fall.  She definitely marches to her own beat, which I think is fabulous.  We will see how that plays out once school starts...

Also, while things that come out of her mouth are hilarious...they are also hilariously-innocently-obliviously-inappropriate...which make them questionable to post on the interwebs.  But since I don't really care what strangers think, you may see some REESEtionary pop up from time-to-time.  

[Cooper]

Wait.  What?  Who's Cooper, you ask?

Oh yeah, we had a baby.

Cooper was born in June.  He wears a helmet (hopefully for not too much longer), and is the sweetest, most laid back baby on earth.  He's my ham sandwich and my Cooper-Pig and I sometimes want to eat his face (in the most loving, un-cannibalistic way imaginable) - which is totally normal, you know.     

.... And here's an update on [us]...

We started to outgrow our townhouse, so we put it up for sale in January 2013.  The listing expired with no legit offers, so we had to re-list in June (or was it July?) of the same year. 

Finally in September 2013, we sold our house!  But, hold on...the government temporarily shutdown our buyer's special mortgage program...

Then late October 2013, we were back in business. And oh, the buyer wants to close in three days.  THREE DAYS. ::insert panic here:: So we packed like maniacs, put everything we owned in a U-Haul and made it to closing (albeit 5 minutes late...).  Did I mention I was in my first trimester with Cooper during all this?  Hell, I tell you.  Pure hell.

But we moved into a single-family home with a yard and more bedrooms and a basement that needs finishing.  Calvin has even slimmed down tremendously from the almost-daily chasing of the neighbor's dogs along our fence line for the last year, and his spanx are fitting him nicely these days.

The Husband, with the help of an amazing group of family members who lent expertise, labor and tools and who worked for beer, put a deck on our house over the summer.  It took a couple months to finish, but I look forward to being able to enjoy it more once the snow melts this year.

The latter half of 2014 was spent adjusting to life with the newest member of our family, celebrating our sixth wedding anniversary in October, and enjoying the holidays. 

Happy New Year!

Bedtime Stories.

Getting Reese to bed at night requires a strategic combination of rocking, stories, listening to Rockabye Baby! Lullaby Renditions of Journey (or Led Zeppelin...or GNR...or Aeromsmith), and more stories. Reese prefers that JP read to her over me...which isn't surprising to anyone that already knows how big of a daddy's girl she is.

The other night I overheard JP reading one of Reese's favorites, "Guess How Much I Love You". For those of you who are unfamiliar, this book is about two rabbits: Little Nutbrown Hare and Big Nutbrown Hare. I peeked in her room during story time and noticed something about how he was reading the book was a bit...well...off.

My dear sweet husband had channeled his inner 13-year-old and changed the names of the rabbits to Little (and Big) Brown Nuthare.

Story time will never be the same.

So I've been on hiatus.

I'll just call it a blogging sabbatical.

I can't believe I have not posted since June! So much has been going on and I don't even know where to begin! I suppose I'll start with the kids...

Jack's lost-tooth count is up to 5, and will probably lash out irrationally at the next person who croons "All I Want For Christmas is My Two Front Teeth". He started kindergarten in September and LOVES it.

Reese will be two in December and has developed quite the sassy personality. She is obsessed with all things Elmo (or "mo-mo")...and a piece of advice for any Elmo-loving toddler parents, do NOT dress your child in Elmo pajamas if you need to be anywhere in a hurry the next morning. It is quite the battle to get her dressed, and from now on, Elmo pajamas are only worn on Friday and/or Saturday nights. Reese has also developed a taste for fine literature. And by taste, I mean she eats books. And by fine literature, I mean Good Night Moon and Blue Hat, Green Hat.

JP and I celebrated our third anniversary this past week, and celebrated his 32nd Natal Anniversary (birthday, ha.) yesterday. And JP, if you're reading this, I love you. :)

And to be festive, I thought I'd leave you with a picture of the kids from this past weekend. Happy Halloween!

Toothless.

Jack would like to share with the interwebs that at 5 years, three months, and 26 days old - he has lost his first tooth.



At 10:30 pm the tooth fairy attempted to do her tooth fairily duties. It was, however, unsuccessful. Jack shot up in bed, looked JP in the eyes, and exclaimed "I'm waiting for the tooth fairy!!" We called it a dry run.

About 30 minutes later he was finally asleep...with his hand under his pillow protecting the tooth. Crap.

Thankfully I the tooth fairy was able to grab the goods, make a deposit, and get the heck out of there without waking the child. Never in my life had I ever imagined that I would be sneaking into my child's room, cash in hand, trying to steal his teeth.

The next morning as Jack emerged from his slumber, squeals of excitement rang through the hallway. The tooth fairy left $5, which Jack promptly shoved into his piggy bank.

::Side Note:: I think we got 50 cents for the loss of our first tooth when we were little...must be inflation.

...because those things only happen to other people's kids.

...or so I thought.

As a parent I never prepared myself for the possibility of something bad happening to either of my children. I saw the world through rose-colored glasses until a call I received on Friday April 29th changed everything...

It was a typical morning at work. I was on the phone with a customer who happens to live near the home where I bring my kids to daycare. Through her end of the phone I heard the sound of sirens in the background. We both commented on the ruckus and quickly shook it off. I work near a hospital and we hear sirens everyday. I got off the phone with the customer, but something didn't quite feel right.

Minutes later I received a phone call from the paramedics. They were at daycare. They had my 16-month-old daughter. She was seizing. I needed to meet them at the hospital.

I grabbed my keys and flew out of the office to the emergency room, calling JP on the way to meet me there. I beat the ambulance and waited for what seemed like an eternity for her to arrive.

When I was finally notified that she had arrived, I couldn't get to her fast enough. The rest of the day was kind of a blur, but I will never forget the look on my husband's face as he ran into the room and together we held our baby girl, and cried. This wasn't supposed to happen to us.

After one ambulance ride, three hours in the ER, one normal CT scan, one normal EEG, and one visit to the neurologist, it was determined that Reese had a grand mal seizure. We never got any 100% answers as to why, but we will be forever thankful for the health of our daughter - and will never take anything for granted again.

Frustration.

It's tough to be 1.
(sorry that the video is all wonky and sideways!)

One of the (big) Boys.

Jack's snowmobile surprise on Saturday was a hit! My Dad and brothers made him a track in the backyard. Although it was a little rocky at first, by the end of the day he was doing really well! There was only one casualty of Grandpa's bushes and one minor incident in which my brother literally had to superman off of his snowmobile to catch jack before he took off into the slough.

Suiting up...



One of the boys...


It was a good day.

I suck at updates.

Bah.

So I made three resolutions for the new year.

1. To keep a travel-sized bottle of contact solution in my purse so I don't have to make the walk of shame into the eye clinic next door to my workplace asking to borrow theirs when my contact falls out of my eye for the seventybillionth time.

check.

2. To spend less and save more so we can get out of the townhome that grew too small too fast.

It's only the 19th day of the year...but so far, so check.

3. To update this blog more often with more than just JACKtionary posts.

Crap

Oh well, two outta three ain't bad, right Meatloaf?

tap tap...is this thing on?

Ok, enough of the lameness. I am running on little to no sleep after being awoken every hour on the hour by JP because god-forbid he be sick in silence. Men are such babies when they are sick...Love you JP! Not to mention the sprinkle of awakenings by Reese who decided to randomly talk in her sleep at two different ungodly hours...and by talk I mean a very loud string of jibberish that sounded like MAmaDADADADAplbbbbbshhh. When I flew out of bed to check on her she was sound asleep. Go figure.

Anywho...

Tomorrow I have the day off of work to accompany Jack and the rest of his preschool class to see Sesame Street Live. While I am looking forward to going, I am looking forward to Saturday even more. Grandpa bought Jack his first snowmobile and I am super excited (and a little motherly-worried) to see him ride. More to come next week on how it goes!

Embarrassing my child, one outfit at a time.

I remember when I was little my Mom would buy me these horrible outfits for me to wear to school. The most awful of which were saved for school pictures, only to have them permanently encased in time as a reminder of what a dork I was. I’m sure she didn’t realize it at the time (or maybe she did, but just didn’t care), but even at 5-years-old, I did give a hoot about what I wore. After a conversation that began with a simple request to my Mom to stop by Target on the way home from work to pickup a dress for Reese, it got me thinking:

I wonder if somewhere down the road Reese will feel the same way about the clothes I pick out for her as I did about the clothes my Mom picked out for me?

The conversation was all via email and went something like this:

Me: I found the cutest dress at Target on my lunch break, but they didn’t have it in Reese’s size. Could you stop by the one by your work and pick it up for me on your way home?

::this request was followed by a picture of the sweater dress I picked out::

Mom: I could pick it up tomorrow, but that dress is butt ugly.

Me: I think it's cute! You really think it's ugly? It looks just like those sweaters you wear...except it's a dress.

Mom: I haven’t worn a sweater like that in years – and yes – it’s just about the ugliest baby dress I’ve ever seen.

Me: It would look cute with sassy baby leggings.

Mom: And a coat over the top…

Me: ::inserts photo of pink argyle baby legs::

Mom: Now you’re going to make the kid wear argyle socks – Do you have a fever?


My, how tastes have changed. Part of me hopes my daughter doesn’t grow up to slightly resent me for the clothing I put her in. And if she does…oh well. I think it’s a motherly right of passage to be able to embarrass your child within reason.

Wordless JACKtionary...

Because sometimes the shoes say it all...

Kids are gross.

Kids are gross. I say this in the most lovingly way possible.

Let me start off by taking a stroll down memory lane to this post. For those lazy readers, I will paraphrase by saying that my daughter spits up so much food it’s hard to believe that she gains weight at all. It is estimated that at least 50% of her daily caloric intake ends up on the floor, the dog, or Husband and I.

Tuesday night was no different.

About an hour and a half after Reese’s main entrée of pureed mixed veggies and banana/mixed berries for dessert, we sat down on the couch together for an attempt at one last snuggle time with her bottle before bed.

::Side Note:: I say “attempt” because doll has recently learned to crawl. The girl is always on the move. She has absolutely no time in her agenda to slow done and cuddle with Mama. I thought I had at least 12-13 years before that happened.

Anyway, using the TV remote as a distraction, I finally got her to chill out and take the bottle. She was about ¾ of the way through when she gagged and spit up on me. Not a huge deal, but nevertheless needed Husband to take her so I could clean myself off before Calv and his laser tongue decided to help.

Husband picked her up off my lap and at the exact moment he turned to carry her away it happened. What was quite possibly the largest stream of projectile baby food / formula blend shot out of doll’s mouth. The vom covered an estimated four-foot radius; spraying herself, husband, Calv, both couches, and my carpet.

Now, we’ve had carpet/baby food incidents before and this one wouldn’t have been a huge deal – but do you recall what she had for dessert? Bananas with mixed berries. And what color is said bananas with mixed berries? Purple. On my WHITE carpet. Super.

She definitely put Linda Blair to shame.

After two days, a cry for stain-removing suggestions via Facebook, and a little help from Google, I was able to successfully able to remove most of the stain with a mix of household items: Tide, vinegar, and warm water. There was still a faint purple look which was completely wiped out with OxyClean gel stain remover (let sit 5-10 minutes, rinse with warm water, and blot up with a towel). The stain remover is actually meant for clothes, but I was brave and tried it.

And if you are from any of the companies that created any of the aforementioned cleaning supplies, hit me up and I’ll let you know where you can mail my royalty check (or lifetime supply of said items) for plugging your product. k thx.

How to Survive Your Ex's Wedding (and other weekend oddities)

HA. Ok, so it wasn't that bad; but I prepared for the worst.

Jack's Dad got married over the weekend and for the sake of civility I slapped on a smile and went to the wedding. Though I was partially dreading the actual ceremony, I really looked forward to the reception to reconnect with old friends. At that I did. We drank, we laughed, we danced, and we promised to get together more often because three years with no contact went by way too fast. I even met some new people who hopefully remember me by my real name rather than "Jack's Mom".

::side note:: Ex's new bride and I are planning on getting together after they return from their honeymoon. It didn't really hit me until last week that Jack was gaining a mother, and as much as I would like to trust Ex's judgement I still feel as though I have to know her, I need to know her. It's not like we're going to be OMG BFF, but if she is going to be a part of Jack's life I want to make an effort.

All in all we had a great time and I even got to dance with the most handsome little man in the room.





And speaking of that little man...

I received a text message from Ex's new Bride on Friday evening stating that Jack picked a fabulous time to CUT HIS OWN HAIR. As funny (and not funny)as it was, it wasn't anything some gel and strategically placed spiked hair couldn't fix. Winner, winner chicken dinner.

Wordless...um...Friday.

Well maybe just one word... UH-OH!

Graduation Day

Jack graduated from his first year of preschool yesterday.

He won't turn 5 until January, so he will get one more year of preschool under his belt before he enters kindergarten in 2011. Thankfully he loves school and his teachers. At the beginning of the year I thought for sure he would have major separation anxiety, but he took to school like a fish to water. It was a bittersweet feeling knowing that he was comfortable being there and didn't need me to hold his hand all the way.

His last day was fun. Each child had to bring a parent and they had lots of "up north" themed activities to do. Jack's girlfriend even introduced herself to me.

::side note:: She is ADORABLE and Jack just thinks she is the greatest. So much in fact, that he is even trying to get his aunt to name her unborn baby "Maddy O".

All in all it we had a lot of fun, and it was a major plus that I got to sneak out of work early to enjoy the day with just Jack.

Better late than never.

I got my Mother's Day gift from Husband last night - only 10 days late, but worth the wait.

After seeing Blair over at The Heir to Blair rave about The Vintage Pearl (and a failed attempt a winning her giveaway - rats.), I decided to give Husband the ol' wink-wink-nudge-nudge-kick-in-the-shins approach.

And lo and behold, it worked! He got me this bracelet, and a picture of the finished product with the kids' names:





Love it.

And for your viewing pleasure, I give you Reese.

Home Sweet Home

It's just after 8:00 and we are finally back home and unpacked from our weekend in Wisconsin. The benefit was a success and the kids had a great time at Grandma and Grandpa's. Jack gave me a hanging basket of "monkey faces" (pansies) that Grandma helped him put together, and Reese greeted Daddy with a mouthful of spit up when he picked her up for a kiss ::vom:: I could have passed out laughing.

OK, now back to the part about the benefit. Wisconsin was fun, but it's good to be home. The animal tally (aka the animals we braked for) was: 1 bear, 5 deer, and 1 fox.

The silent auction raised over $2600, another $2200 was raised from the 50/50 raffle, plus whatever was raised by the other raffle ticket drawings, wrist band, and paddle sales.

It was a very long day, but we had a lot of fun. Even if I had to let an extremely intoxicated Larry suck my big toe in order to get him to buy an entire bucket of paddles at $2 a piece. I was wearing sandals, so he disinfected the area with vodka first. ::shivers:: It's amazing what you'll do (and never, ever do again) for your family.

We drank, we laughed, we raised money, and we lifted our glasses to a stand-up guy to a few plays of "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" by the Dropkick Murphys. 'Twas a good weekend.


AND

If anyone is wondering, watercolor paints are NON-TOXIC. Tonight as I was giving Reese a bottle before she went to bed I heard the sound of gargling water. Jack decided that his paint brush rinsing basin looked especially tasty. Fabulous. Thankfully I caught him before he swallowed and promptly sent him to brush his teeth. I think we'll stick with crayons.

Rain, rain go away.

It's been raining and cloudy here for almost the last week. Jack is getting stir crazy and needs to just get outside to release some of his energy before he drives me up a wall. Thankfully there is talk of the sun and 70-degree weather returning just in time for the weekend.

Speaking of this weekend, Husband and I are taking a little road trip to Wisconsin to gather with family at a benefit for my cousin who lost her husband a few months ago. The whole situation makes me so mad because of how unfair it all seems. He wasn't supposed to leave her like this to raise four boys under five years old, but fortunately she has an amazing support system that will be there for her every step of the way - including Husband and I, even though we are miles away. We are so excited to see them and can't wait to make the trip. This will be a great weekend.

While Husband and I are away, the kids are going to Husband's parent's house. Jack can't wait to see the sheep, chase the ducks, and take a hike in the woods with Grandpa and Fitz (Fitz is their beagle).

Any who, on a lighter note:

Last night I made Jack dinner and left him alone for a minute at the table while I went upstairs to get Reese into her pajamas. After what couldn't have been more than 30 seconds I hear Jack scream and burst into a hysterical crying fit. I asked what happened - to which he replied "I accidentally spilled my dinner!". I looked into the kitchen and just about the entire contents of the kitchen table were scattered all over the floor. I didn't ask, nor did I even what to know what the hay he was doing to cause the mess in the first place. I cleaned it up, wiped his tears, and Husband made him a a PB&J sandwich. Maybe I should have invested in a spill mat when I had the chance...