Monday, October 1, 2012

Graduation Part Deux - and the time I almost killed my husband with Lipton Tea.

This last Friday I FINALLY earned my BS in Business Administration, graduating with high honors. Contrary to blogging belief, words cannot describe what this accomplishment means to me. After a how-many-year hiatus, multiple changes in major, and earning an associates degree in a completely unrelated field, I am so glad went back and stuck through it. While I could not have made this achievement without the immense amount of support from my friends, family and coworkers, it is my husband to whom I owe the most gratitude. He was so patient with me and my crazy schedule, never complained about entertaining the kids while I did homework, and always told me to "suck it up" or "you'll be fine" when I was on the verge of a near-meltdown.

Speaking of JP...

He has been sick with an awful cold for going on a week now. After the graduation ceremony last week we went out with my parents to dinner. They noticed his cold, and I proceeded to tell them of a little incident that occurred around this time last year - when I almost killed my husband with Lipton tea.

When men are sick they are the most god-awful creatures to be around. Rather than suffering in silence, they (JP) find it necessary to make the entire house aware of how miserable they are feeling while they (JP) lay around the house like a sloth.

In addition to the various medications and vitamins JP uses in attempt to cure himself, he likes to drink tea. He will generally heat water in a mug in the microwave and go about his tea-making way. Last winter he sent me to the store to buy a box of Lipton tea bags. I went to Target, made my purchase, and brought them home.

When JP proceeded to open the box he and I both thought the bags looked a bit unusual, but thought maybe after half a century Lipton decided to redesign their product. No big deal.

After drinking two mugs of the new tea, JP became even more ill than he was earlier in the day: dizzy, heart racing, shaking, sweating, and weak. It was only after acquiring these new symptoms that JP checked out the Lipton box...where he discovered that I bought tea bags that were designed to make an 8-cup pitcher of iced tea...and really shouldn't have been used in a single coffee mug. In essence, my husband consumed the caffeine equivalency of 16 cups of iced tea within about 30-45 minutes.

Now, the "lethal dose" of caffeine is quite substantial and generally runs about 150-200 milligrams per kilogram of body mass depending on who you ask. This is the approximate equivalence of 80-100 cups of coffee. Technically speaking JP only drank 16 cups, so it really wasn't enough to kill him...but it still makes for a good story.

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Silent reverie.

Sometimes a visit from an old friend can really help put your life into perspective. Over the weekend I served as host for a comrade I hadn’t seen in the upwards of about 14 years (mas o menos).

The whole visit was incredibly surreal.

Her free spirit has taken her places I could only dream of going, and I am in awe of all she has accomplished. I felt a bit - for lack of a better word, boring - describing where my life has taken me over the years. Now, I don’t necessarily have any regrets, but I do wish I had more to say (and more time in which to say it). I thoroughly enjoyed listening to her stories and reminiscing over the past while looking at our 6th grade yearbook (while drinking a semi-awful bottle of cheap wine). The following morning we said goodbye…and I am slightly embarrassed to admit the wave of emotion that overcame me as she drove away in Clark (a van that looks to have just as many stories as she…).

At the beginning of 2012 I had two goals for the year:

1. Graduate in September, and;
2. Apply for grad school

After she left, I had time to reflect on the last few years of my life. I am proud of who I am and where I am in life, but I decided that because almost everything I do is to give my family the life they deserve - I need to do something for me. On that note, I made the executive decision to add two out-of-character goals that I hope to accomplish before the end of the year…

1. Get a tattoo. Somewhere inconspicuous because I am a coward.
2. Fly (yes, I said fly. Let’s all gasp collectively ::gasp!:: Are we done? Moving on…) to NY as a graduation gift to myself…or an anniversary trip for JP so he can soak up the land of his beloved Yankees. (yarf).

Thank you for coming to visit, HF. I can’t wait to get together again soon; hopefully before another 14 years goes by.

…I hear my voice
And it’s been here
Silent all these years
I’ve been here
Silent all these years…

Friday, March 30, 2012

Bedtime Stories.

Getting Reese to bed at night requires a strategic combination of rocking, stories, listening to Rockabye Baby! Lullaby Renditions of Journey (or Led Zeppelin...or GNR...or Aeromsmith), and more stories. Reese prefers that JP read to her over me...which isn't surprising to anyone that already knows how big of a daddy's girl she is.

The other night I overheard JP reading one of Reese's favorites, "Guess How Much I Love You". For those of you who are unfamiliar, this book is about two rabbits: Little Nutbrown Hare and Big Nutbrown Hare. I peeked in her room during story time and noticed something about how he was reading the book was a

My dear sweet husband had channeled his inner 13-year-old and changed the names of the rabbits to Little (and Big) Brown Nuthare.

Story time will never be the same.

Postcards from MY Momma...

::Back Story:: My Mom is watching the kids Saturday night while JP and I attend the 2012 MDA Black & Blue Ball...

Mom: "I'm giving the kids their Easter treats this weekend. I am going to start feeding them candy as soon as they get up on Sunday. The earlier you get here to pick them up the less sugar they will have in them."


Tuesday, March 13, 2012

JACKtionary - Leprechaun Edition

::Back Story:: Last night Jack asked for a Popsicle stick and a small box to make a leprechaun trap...::

Me: How does a leprechaun trap work?

Jack: Well, when the leprechaun comes in your bedroom at night it will run into the stick and the box will come down and kill it.

Me: I'm a bit concerned that you want a dead leprechaun under a box in your room.

Jack: Well, the leprechaun's body is full of paperclips and coins and stuff...

Me: What do you do with the leprechaun after it's in the box?

Jack: I dunno. I guess just dump it in the trash...

Thursday, February 23, 2012


::Back Story:: I put pigtails in Reese's hair...and then showed her in the mirror.

Me: Reesie look at your pretty hair!

Reese: TWO PIGS!!