Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Postcards from MY Momma...

::Back Story:: Daycare was closed yesterday and today so Husband was at home with the kids for two days while I worked. Husband picture-mailed me this photo yesterday afternoon which I proceeded to forward to my Mom...

Mom: He better let her out Child Services should be there soon – I just forwarded them this picture. Maybe I didn’t, maybe I did – but he shouldn’t be putting my precious princess in a least not until she's 13 anyway.

Monday, August 30, 2010

What a difference 15 years makes.

It’s that time of year again! On Saturday we joined the crowd of 175,621 individuals for 6.5 hours of food, fun, sun, and more food. I’m talking about the Minnesota State Fair. We arrived at 11 a.m. and proceeded to eat anything and everything that would shame any McFatty participant.

Mini donuts? Check.
Bite of my Step-Mom’s deep fried Mac and Cheese? Check.
Pickle dog? Check x2.
Chocolate covered cheesecake on a stick? Don’t mind if I do!

While the food was great, I’m pretty sure it took two showers to completely wash off the grease that was emitting from my pores. I will probably be making up for my binge by logging many miles on the elliptical over the next couple weeks. Oh well, at least I will get my insurance discount by checking in 12 times at Snap this month.

Moving on…

What made this year at the Fair especially special was a caricature. Fifteen years ago in 1995, my brothers and I were forced to sit in close proximity for 20ish minutes while some random man drew our likenesses in charcoal. Because Husband and I joined my parents and my brothers at the fair again this year, my Dad insisted we have another one done. So now, for your viewing pleasure I give you what a difference 15 years makes…



Don't be hatin' on my glasses.

Monday, August 16, 2010

$40 for a free dinner.

Per usual, the family was going over to my parent's house for an early Sunday dinner. We generally have Calvin in tow as he likes to play with my parent's German Shepherd and it wears him out enough that he sleeps the remainder of the night; rather than standing at his post at the backdoor barking like a lunatic at a garbage can (or something equally ridiculous).

Husband put Calv in the car while I was inside grabbing the crazy amount of baby gear necessary to survive being out of the house for three hours. To free up a hand, I placed my purse (and car keys) on the front seat so I could get Reese in the car. I no sooner shut the door when...

...Calvin locked me out.

::Did I mention my spare set of keys were in my purse too?::

So after ear muffing the babe and shouting a seemingly endless string of expletives at the dog, Husband began his plan of attack to get into the car. We tried using the laser pointer and treats to get Calv to step on the button again...but no luck. It was time to break in.

After prying the door open enough to get a coat hanger, a fishing pole, and a piece of PVC pipe through it we came to a conclusion:

My car has a neat little security feature that disables the "unlock" button in the event someone tries to pry the door open and steal my ride. Awesome.

Since Calv had officially been locked in the car for about an hour and a half, we gave up and called the tow company. Thank god for nice people who answered the phone on a Sunday afternoon and were literally at our door in less than 10 minutes. Fifteen minutes and $40 later we were on our way to dinner.

Calv sits on my lap in the car; he UNLOCKED the car at least four times within the 10 minute drive to my parent's place. Go figure.

Friday, August 13, 2010

The one where grandpa was boobdazzled.

Yesterday I found out that Husband's grandpa was flashed at our wedding.

By a member of our wedding party.

A nausea triggered wave of mortification flew over me at the thought...even though our wedding was nearly two years ago. After the nausea subsided, I was actually impressed that grandpa:

A. Remembered the incident, and;
B. Remembered the identity of tata-wielding culprit.

After sending out a blanket email to my fav ladies - all fingers pointed in one direction. Maid of Honor #2.

Ya, I had two Maids of Honor (or what ever the correct term is for having more than one female backup to start the car should I have decided to make a run for it...Love you Hubs!). Besides, I have known these girls since we were in middle school. It's kind of like a package deal, I couldn't have chosen just one.

P.S. And Rach, if you're reading this: By Maid of Honor "#2" - I meant that you walked down the aisle second. Not because you're inferior.


As funny (and not funny) as it is now - Rach is standing her ground insisting that she didn't give Grandpa his own personal peep-show while whipping out the goods like a mad woman screaming "Yeah Baby!"

Although, come to think of it, she (and a majority of everyone else) was rather intoxicated so it is quite possible that this is exactly how it went down.

And honestly, I don't even care who did it. Just another one of the many memories I will have of that day, which is fine with me.

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Monday, August 9, 2010


I'm going to take a moment to plug a great blog.

Any mother can tell you that when you have kids, you have less time to dedicate to yourself. I am no different. When I do have time, I like to spend it either relaxing, or doing something to make myself feel good; which is why I love Lauren's blog. Although she is not a mother, she gives great advice on living beautifully both inside and out. She does great reviews on all of the latest and greatest beauty products, and if you're interested, she's even hosting her first giveaway this week for a Spornette Kabuki Brush. I definitely recommend you check it out.