Monday, June 28, 2010


::Back Story:: Jack's cousin was born on Friday evening. He went to meet her for the first time this morning. I received this e-mail from his aunt...

"Jack was just here visiting Hannah. He was so cute, he was explaining the game of baseball to her. He told her she has to keep her eye on the ball."

Ode to Optics, aka Why I Changed My Dog’s Name to “Shit-head.”

Of all the things Calvin has chewed, I have never once wept over the destruction…

…until Sunday morning at 1:34 a.m.

::Back Story:: Calvin sleeps on our bed, if he gets too hot he jumps off and goes downstairs and sleeps in his kennel.::

Not this time.

At approximately 1:34 a.m. on Sunday June 27, 2010 I awoke to the most awful crunching sound I have ever heard in my life coming from under our bed. Being a self-proclaimed Mr. Magoo, I rolled over to reach for my glasses off of the night stand. After a few failed attempts at feeling around for them, a mental light bulb turned on and I realized that the very item I was reaching for was probably the very item Calv decided to snack on.

I immediately dropped to the floor, grabbed a flashlight out of the night stand, lifted the bed skirt, and found a very nervous Corgi looking at me like a deer in the headlights. Next to him were (what was left of) my glasses.

Exhibit A

::Side Note:: When I first grabbed the glasses, the part of the frame that holds the right nose pad was completely vertical and I fortunately got it back in place without snapping it off. This picture also does not do much justice, but the actual nose pads, and the right ear piece are completely chewed.

Husband, knowing that I would kill the dog, immediately grabbed Calv and escorted him downstairs to his kennel while I sobbed over the remains of my specs.

Now, normally I wouldn’t have gotten so upset over a pair of glasses. HOWEVER I have only had these glasses for 1 one year…and prior to that had not replaced them since I was a junior.

…In high school.

Fortunately this story has a happy ending. Fifteen minutes at the eye clinic over my break this morning and $10.20 later, the damage was repaired; minus the chipped paint where he chewed, but that is cosmetic and will not affect my comfort or vision so I deal. Had the nose piece actually snapped off – the bill would have been more around $150…yikes.

And while I am still on the topic of canine catastrophes…

Later Sunday morning after breakfast I was cleaning up in the kitchen when Husband walked over and asked me to hold Reese for a minute. Soon after taking baby girl, I spotted husband out of the corner of my eye sweeping something up off of the kitchen floor ever-so-quietly. I ran over to see a couple of our WEDDING flowers partially shredded all over the floor. Husband, knowing that I was still irate from the glasses incident tried to clean up the mess before I noticed. No such luck.

::Side Note:: I keep the dried flowers in a basket on the under-shelf of a small table in our kitchen. This table has not been dusted in a couple weeks.::

I went over to the flower basket to check the destruction and it was then that I realized Calvin had an accomplice.

Exhibit B

The accomplice, who shall remain nameless, is described as being 4-years-old, 42” tall, and approximately 41 lbs. He still denies any and all allegations.

Sunday, June 20, 2010

How to Survive Your Ex's Wedding (and other weekend oddities)

HA. Ok, so it wasn't that bad; but I prepared for the worst.

Jack's Dad got married over the weekend and for the sake of civility I slapped on a smile and went to the wedding. Though I was partially dreading the actual ceremony, I really looked forward to the reception to reconnect with old friends. At that I did. We drank, we laughed, we danced, and we promised to get together more often because three years with no contact went by way too fast. I even met some new people who hopefully remember me by my real name rather than "Jack's Mom".

::side note:: Ex's new bride and I are planning on getting together after they return from their honeymoon. It didn't really hit me until last week that Jack was gaining a mother, and as much as I would like to trust Ex's judgement I still feel as though I have to know her, I need to know her. It's not like we're going to be OMG BFF, but if she is going to be a part of Jack's life I want to make an effort.

All in all we had a great time and I even got to dance with the most handsome little man in the room.

And speaking of that little man...

I received a text message from Ex's new Bride on Friday evening stating that Jack picked a fabulous time to CUT HIS OWN HAIR. As funny (and not funny)as it was, it wasn't anything some gel and strategically placed spiked hair couldn't fix. Winner, winner chicken dinner.

Friday, June 18, 2010

Wednesday, June 16, 2010


::Back Story:: I was talking to Husband about getting my haircut, Jack was listening...

Jack: Mama, you can call Michelle (his future step-mom who is a stylist) and get a disappointment! took a minute to realize he was telling me to MAKE an APPOINTMENT.

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

I once wore a crown for an entire year.

True story.
(That's me on the far right)

The summer of 2004 was the most rewarding summer of my life. It was then when I was crowned one of the 2004-2005 Princesses of my home town. We line-danced during parade line-up; we rode on a float and made appearances at what seemed like every parade in the tri-county area; We wore dresses that after our reign ended never wanted to look at again, but somehow still don't have the heart to get rid of; We got VIP seating in the "Sparkle Section" at coronations we visited; we formed friendships that we will treasure forever and memories that will last a lifetime.

With "Buffalo Days" approaching next week, I still have no idea where these last six years have gone.