Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Don't get mad...get 600 thread count bed sheets.

Can I just take a moment to express my adoration for Target? I love Target. I would probably live there if I could. Husband has threatened many a time to encase my check card in a tomb of ice to attempt to keep me away from there, with no avail.


Saturday I made my biweekly trip to Target. On the way there I got a phone call which made me extremely upset and on the verge of angry tears in the parking lot.

::side note:: The subject of the aforementioned phone call is irrelevant to this story, so I'll leave it at that. Besides, it would have been a whole other blog post in itself, but the issue was resolved before I could even click "new post".

Now, on a good day I could spend hours there just looking around; but that day I was MAD. So mad in fact, that the only thing that would make me feel better would be to:

a. scream; or
b. buy stuff.

I immediately eliminated option "a" as I didn't want to draw any unnecessary attention to myself; leaving option "b" as the only logical choice. So that's what I did. I bought stuff. I bought a couple new outfits for the kids, I got random things for the house, and then I saw it...

Sheets. And not just any sheets. Crisp, brand new, 600 thread count bed sheets.

::another side note:: I probably would have bought 23105640 thread count bed sheets if I had the option, but fortunately for my bank account, and my husband, Target maxed out at 600.

As I walked out of the store with my new purchase(s), I felt better. It just goes to show that when the going gets tough, don't get mad...get bed sheets.

...and don't watch "The Box" starring Cameron Diaz. Terrible, terrible movie. But that's just my opinion.

Friday, April 23, 2010

Back to school, back to school, to prove to Dad that I'm not a fool...

...Well, not really. But I can't resist a good movie quote.

After a three(ish) year hiatus from college after the birth of my son, I went back to school in April 2009 to finish my degree in Criminal Justice. Talk about scary.

Up until now I have worked 40 hours per week and took classes part time. This semester I grew a wild hair and decided to take on three, count 'em three, classes all while trying to work full time, and corralling two kids. And a dog. And a husband. God help me.

::Side Note::I found out today that not only am I on the High Honors/President's List for Winter semester, but I have been there since my return to school last year. ::pats self on back::

I am due to FINALLY graduate in September and the reality of having to find a "real job" scares me to death. Did I mention I have worked for my Dad's company for like, ever? So you can only imagine my state of internal panic of the thought of having to step outside of my comfort zone and into the real world.

::Side Note Again:: Not that my current job isn't a "real job", but I figured I should put all of that hard earned money that went towards my schooling to good use. Plus, it would probably make sense to at least attempt to find a career in my chosen field of study.

So hold on tight and bear with me as I embark upon yet another scary ride into reality and my adult life.

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

JACKtionary - Volume II

Since Jack is with his Dad until Monday, I am declaring this a bye-week. Enjoy some vintage JACKtionary.

Jack, age 2, after his bath getting doused in baby powder:

"What's that? Salt?"

Jack, age 3, requesting a piggyback ride from Grandpa:

"I wanna ride the pig!!"

Jack, age 4, asking to go to Grandma's:

Jack: I want to go to Grandma Julie's!
Me: No.
Jack: Well, maybe you should go upstairs and think about it!

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

I made the furniture warranty lady gag via phone...

...No really. I did.

But it wasn't necessarially my fault. It was more the fault of Reese and Calv for causing me to call, and her fault for asking why I needed service.

I have never seen a baby that voms after eating as much as Reese...and I have never seen a dog more interested in said vom than Calvin is.

When I called warranty services on Monday to have my couch cleaned, furniture lady had to ask how the stain came to be.

Me: Baby eats, spits up on the couch, dog eats it.

Furniture Lady ::insert gag via phone here:: So, you have a combination baby spitup/dog saliva spot on your couch?

Why yes ma'am I do. My new couch looks especially nastified, which is why I am oh-so-thankful that we paid the extra $110 for the Teflon fabric protection when we purchased it. Now I just have to be patient for 10 business days until my cleaning kit arrives in the mail.

Monday, April 5, 2010

JACKtionary and JACKisms

I am starting a new post series to quote the things that come out of my 4-year-old's mouth. Enjoy.

JACKtionary - Easter Edition

::Jack seeing the Easter Bunny walking around at the Egg Hunt::

MOM. I need to tell him he's doing it wrong. Easter Bunnies don't walk - they hop.

::Jack watching the clouds go by::

Jack: The clouds look like armadillos and tear necks.
Me: What's a tear neck?
Jack: ::shrugs:: They eat rocks.

::Jack bored listening to Grandma tell a story::

Grandma, I just wanted to say ::long pause:: When you tell those stories, I hate them.

Eggs, Ham, and Bunny Ears...

We had a nice Easter yesterday.

The day began with brunch with my Mom's family and ended with dinner at my Dad's house. Brunch was ok - but it was nice seeing the family again, being the last time we all got together was about a year ago. I can't believe how quickly time goes by.

Dinner at Dad's was amazing as usual; especially the ham. Oh that sweet, sweet honey-mandarin orange-apricot preserve-Gentleman Jack-etcetcetc ham glaze. I probably would have been happy eating just that.

The kids had a great time too. Well, Jack at least. I don't think Reese really knew what the heck was going on. I remember the pre-child days when holidays were so stress free. Now, two kids and a dog later Husband and I are exhausted by days end. All in all, the exhaustion is worth it just to have moments like these:

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Hope you all had a fantastic Easter as well.

Friday, April 2, 2010

Kummel Bees

Although this happened about a week and a half ago, I believe that it is too funny not to share.

Jack: Mom, my favorite songs are Mary Moon and Kummel Bees.

Me: What the heck is Kummel Bees?

Jack: You know, Kummel Bees Kummel Bees KummelKummelKummel Bees.

I'm A Be by the Black Eyed Peas will never be the same...

Thursday, April 1, 2010


The Circo Step Stool w/ Storage from Target has a weight capacity of 50 lbs and is not meant to accomodate an adult female weighing approx 117 lbs who attempts to ascend said stool with a running start. BIG FAIL.

Allow me to explain...

Calvin, our Pembroke Welsh Corgi, likes to go on our bed.

::side note::If you have never seen a Corgi, picture a 30 pound hotdog with 5" legs.

His lack of leg length makes him too short to jump up (he's made it a couple times, but has a 95% rate of failure). We got Jack, my 4-year-old, a stool with 2 steps from Target to use in the bathroom when he brushes his teeth. Being the practical and clever soul I am I thought that Calvin would use it as a staircase to get on the bed.

Boy was I wrong.

He wouldn't even try to use it, even after I physically put him on it. I thought maybe if he saw me use it then he would give it a try.

First I walked up it - no big deal, but he still didn't follow me.

Then I thought maybe I had to get him excited so I decided to get a running start in attempt to have him chase me up it - not a good idea.

Next thing I know I am on the floor and (what used to be) the stool is in 3+ pieces with the bottom step caved in. Had I known that the dang stool was being held together with what I am assuming was nothing more than swingline staples, I probably would have thought twice about my actions.

As I am rolling in pain and tears from hysterical laughter, I looked up to Husband who was giving me the side eye, and Calvin who was looking at me like I was an idiot.

Thankfully the only thing I broke was that stupid stool, and my pride.


My first attempt at recording my world.

Some posts you won't care about and some just won't make sense, but hey, that's life.